Most people seem to experience only a fraction of the connection—with others and with something larger than themselves—that’s possible. There are Wordsworth lines that have always resonated with me: “It is the most difficult of tasks to keep / Heights which the soul is competent to gain.”
That’s why I lead Nearness, an organization creating small-group spiritual community for people with a range of backgrounds, including those who don’t fit neatly inside religious boxes. We all want to experience more connection. To a degree, the human condition seems to make inhabiting those heights of connection difficult, at least in an ongoing, lasting way. But, if we’re intentional, and if we have supports in our relationships, it’s easier to return to those heights. Nearness aims to provide some of those supports.
At Nearness, we bring people together in small groups. These groups meet weekly, follow a shared ritual structure, and create a space for deep conversation and personal exploration. There are meditations and blessings. Candle-lightings and reflection exercises. Shared values that we revisit each week and check-ins to discuss how groups are living up to those values.
We’ve partnered with both religious institutions and organizations far outside the faith world—including groups serving elected officials who are seeking grounding in the midst of public life. And because we’re fascinated by the future of spirituality, we recently launched Kismet, a literary magazine exploring the edges and possibilities of religion and spirituality today.
In writing this piece, another member of The Phygital Preaching Fellowship, Jess Bielman asked me why I do this work. I told him that I grew up in a loving home, but like many, my childhood and adolescence were marked by the ordinary ruptures of life—my parents’ divorce, seasons of sadness and anxiety. I found that secular therapy culture could only take me so far. I longed for a deeper kind of resource.
Around this time, I encountered religious voices from a variety of traditions that spoke to that longing. In college, I studied religion with a focus on the spiritual needs of religiously unaffiliated people. I started a community on campus where students could discuss life’s big questions and experience deep connection. After graduation, I lived and worked in a community for adults with intellectual disabilities, a L’Arche community. That time showed me what spiritual community at its best could be, and left me with really meaningful friendships.
All of these experiences impressed on me that people are lonely and long for connection—with one another and with something larger than themselves. The Phygital Preaching Fellowship has become a place where I connect with others who are exploring how community can thrive in both physical and digital spaces. It’s a shared laboratory for ideas, experiments, and mutual encouragement. I’m thrilled to be a part
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I worked for close to a decade in college campus ministry, and the number one self-reported experience was loneliness. Tens of thousands of people feeling lonely surrounded by other people who are lonely. The work you are doing, Alec, is so needed!